A "helpaholic" is a person who is addicted to taking care of someone else. They feel worthless unless they do. Setting any kind of personal boundaries is very difficult for them and they are almost incapable of saying "no" to a request for help, whether reasonable or unreasonable. Frequently they are unable to receive care from others. In the Christian community we are encouraged to be interdependent, that is we are able to both give and receive, according to our gifts and those of others. Appropriate self-care and boundary setting is not selfish; it is necessary if we are to be the best instrument possible in the hands of God. A dull saw does not cut trees well.

• Tries to become good by doing good things.
• Feels overly responsible for the thoughts, feelings, behaviors, or situations of others.
• Remains unconscious of or denies the real damage done to individuals and relationships.
• Allows her behavior to be determined by the approval or disapproval of others.
• Denies, ignores, or neglects his own needs.
• Is driven to over-achieve.
• Has unusual patience with the inappropriate behavior of others.
• Is drawn to the pain in other people’s lives, especially when this is similar to her own.
• Has a hard time facing and managing conflict.
• Is compelled to be helpful.
• Fears being rejected or abandoned.
• Has a hard time being intimate and vulnerable in relationships.
• Finds more comfort in "one-up" than in peer relationships.
• Feels special and singled out, but isolated and lonely.
• Is overactive and over-committed and stops only when he drops.
• Has a hard time letting go of or turning over responsibility for the her volunteer activity to others.